Brave decision

I am pretty proud of my self, having being able to make a quick yet painful decision on the spot, despite of realizing how miserable I will be afterwards, and unknowing if I had the strenght to survive this out.

At the moment, I know that was the right decision. Although my heart was filled with jealousy, hurt, envy and feeling of being deceived and treated unfair. I wanted justice, I wanted answer. But I just knew that it was either saving my pride and what's left of it in calm manner or, going down histerically with just the same exact result. 

I am glad I chose to shut up and carried on with my life, walked away choosing the other path, focusing on what I could improve on my self. 

It was hell of a journey and the first one month was hard. I cried and hurt everyday. I tried not to hate my self and replaying the scenes in my head, assuring that despite of this unpleasant result, I did everything fairly, honestly and by the book.

My knight was there with me through it. He knew I had been crying, tried his best to understand and made me feel better. I was faking it pretending I was Okay. And he saw me through and assisted in his own ways. 

Now, I am glad I didn't waste my time, prolonged the unnecessary pain and was able to do a quick, clear cut, without letting me falling further & deeper into toxicity.

I am in a better place compared to a month ago. Glad I made that brave, mature, logical decison, which unfortunately, some responsible adults failed to make. They chose to follow their lust, unable to control their feelings and emotion in check. 

I am so proud of my self that I am able to rise through it, coming out with a better me, despite of my lack of experience. I was able to do what is right, following my gut. I was honest with my self. I let my self experienced all the pain and crawled through it. 

I was at my lowest point of life and difficult time. And that person, added misery on top of it. Despite of the trust I put and how I let him inside my days. But atleast now I know how unreliable, unstable and immature that person is. 

Did he think he worth that much that he could switch, walkaway and comeback as he likes. I am glad my pride didn't let my worth fall that low. I am glad time shows me that. 

I still have to carry on.